Each day and for every meeting or event you are observed. When you walk into the room, you send out a message, whether you intend to or not. Your physical, visual expression combines with you energy to say, “This is who I am.”

The way you look expresses aspects of your personality and tastes. It can say “I’m elegant and natural,” or “I’m creative and individualistic,” or “I’m shy and reserved,” or “I’m dull and boring.”  Or, it could say, I don’t care about myself.” or “I’m sloppy.” Or, better, “I care about who I am and what I’m up to today!” You’ve seen people whose image suggests a less than desirable message. They could be a fascinating person…but who would know?

“Don’t judge a book by the cover,” is an axiom most of us heard growing up. Yet the truth of the matter is that most people do. There’s no such thing as a neutral impression. Your Personal Impact is either working for you – or it’s working against you by sending messages that you don’t want to express. Do you know what you express? Are you ready to find out?

Accurate or not, your look suggests a particular type of lifestyle and reflects certain values. Those you meet decide whether you are interesting or boring, casual or formal, traditional or contemporary, successful or unsuccessful, with just a glance.  Numerous other evaluations about your economic status, social standing, and educational background will be made. After determining your general level of success and sophistication, they’ll treat you accordingly.

Begin by simply remembering that you express dozens of messages visually and energetically. Onlookers make assumptions about whether you are married or single, friendly or aloof, sincere or dishonest, introverted or extroverted.  And they will respond to you based on these assumptions, but the good news is that you can control this to a very large extent.

Every day you are communicating with the people you deal with, whether professionally, casually or intimately. You let your world know what you think about yourself and how you value yourself. Your ideas about yourself are reflected in both obvious and subtle ways.

You may choose your words carefully, but if your physical or energetic presentation gives conflicting messages, this can undermine your results. This is why “congruence” is extremely important. It is actually another way of distinguishing or pointing to “harmony.”  Whichever term you use, this expresses authenticity to onlookers and when it’s not present – “in-authenticity.”

There can also be an unintended consequence that is the outcome of what a woman or a man wears. Women entering the workforce for the first time, may know how to get dolled-up but not realize this is not dating. You’ve seen a woman who claims that she wants to be taken seriously and then wears overtly sexy clothing at work. Yet when a woman puts herself together in a way that is polished and professional at work, it sends a message that is empowering and supportive of her goals. 

Another example the man who says he wants to get ahead and move up in the company, but perhaps he dresses so casually at work or let’s his grooming go. Then although he can “get away with it” in his current position, he may not be considered for promotions for which he is well qualified.  When these individuals make simple changes, it makes a tremendous difference in their career success.

So what do you do about this?  First, begin by assessing the messages you are expressing. If you are tuned in to other people and observe their behaviors and reactions to you, you may know some of this already. Or, you may need objective feedback and guidance. That’s okay, too.  

Here’s how to do a Self-Assessment:

One place to begin is to clarify “who” you are with a clearing of your thoughts by writing, “I am…” at the top of a page and completing that sentence over and over until you have no more thoughts on the subject. Spend at least 15-20 minutes to be complete.

The second step is to write “I would like to be seen and described as being…” and complete that sentence. This is a powerful place to start. If you’d like personal guidance on being aware of your personal impact and creating a set of messages that will give you what you want, contact me for a Personal Impact Assessment at rebelholiday@designingyourself.com.