“Life is not a fashion show,” I pointed out to my audience of several hundred women.
Hearing this from a fashion designer got their attention. “It doesn’t matter much how fabulous your outfit or look is if you look in the mirror and criticize yourself. It doesn’t make much difference if you impress others yet feel you are hiding the real you.” I could tell they were really taking it in.
“Do you find yourself saying negative things to yourself when you look in the mirror?” Most of the hands went up. I went on to explain why it doesn’t have to be this way. We can begin to shift perceptions of ourselves and society, but first we want to understand it.
This emphasis on seeing one’s flaws is deep-rooted and ancient as many anthropologists agree. Today psychologists and human growth experts believe, as I do, that it is within your power to change your self-image. Too much emphasis on imperfections is a common mindset for many women, yet it can be shifted.
Many women see their faults and flaws instead of harmony, excellence, and beauty. This is not because they are not capable of experiencing or expressing harmony, excellence, and beauty. They do have the potential, but they do not yet have the ability to see these as possibilities in themselves.
Our possibilities begin with our perceptions. You must first be able to see harmony and excellence. Imagine being better, greater, or happier, if you ever want to attain those states. Over-analyzing faults and inadequacies, leaves many focusing on the limitations they experience.
We’ve all heard, “The sky’s the limit,” but few live that way. Instead, many accept the idea of a “glass ceiling” which describes the imaginary limits we accept. It mean that we have no limits, but most people have imposed far lower limits than necessary and may not even be aware of many of them.
Ask Yourself These Questions:
- Where do you limit yourself?
- Where do you stop?
- What are you not open to being, doing or having?
- Where do you deny your dreams?
- What your heart desires?
Simply becoming aware of this “glass ceiling” can open our thinking! Then we can imagine going beyond places where we’ve previously stopped. Our thoughts that we have to settle for less than satisfaction, success, and joy, are false. You can expand your possibilities by shifting your perceptions of who you are and who you can be.
Delve into who you think you are and who you want to become. It can also be valuable to write down how you would like to be seen and described by others. Think of it as an ongoing process of being and becoming.
Designing Your Self is often an inside-out process. Most people are either focused too much on their outward appearance or solely on their inner world. This creates or reinforces a disconnected sense of our Self. So, what do you do first?
Recognize that you are one whole, unique human being. The notion of an “inner you” and an “outer you” can be one way to approach personal growth. Then focusing initially on the inner aspects can allow you to shift your direction and emphasis.
You can discover and be the best Essential You. How do you do this?
- Avoid judging yourself and instead consider supporting yourself.
- Focusing on good/bad and perfect/flawed thinking is destructive and painful.
- Consider either giving up illusions of perfection or redefine what that means.
- Let go of postponing satisfaction until you reach that elusive perfection.
- Develop your ability to see your wholeness and harmony.
When you open up to the possibility of harmony, it naturally shifts your perceptions of yourself and others. You will find that this mindset is nurturing, empowering and valuable. The natural result of this is finding contentment with yourself and discovering the best in others.
When you can see the best in others, you can begin to see it in yourself. When enough of us on the planet live in the possibility of being our best selves, the world will be a very different place.
